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Notes to Myself

by EVAN JELLO

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1.
Go on, go away 04:02
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At the piano I can feel you awaken To distract my mind And paralyse my fingers I begin to create You decide to awake I can feel your breath Upon me Whispering words of shame You are so very sly I know I’m just your type Full of ideas And so full of fears You are so very sly I know I’ve been your greatest prize Living freely in my mind I'm sorry to say it's time Go on, go away Slither home to your own world I know you don’t want to But its time I’ve got work to do And I don’t care for you Your niggling little voice That slowly comes to destroy But I can see through that You’re not good for me you’re ruining my life You’re so very sly The rising up of heat The second thought of the beat The sudden rhythm of the heart and my body begins to part Feeling split in two What do I choose to do Do I love me, do I not Do I love me, do I not? Eughhhh but Do I give this a shot Go on, go away Slither home to your own world I know you don’t want to But its time I’ve got work to do And I don’t care for you Your niggling little voice That slowly comes to destroy But I can see through that You’re not good for me you’re ruining my life You’re so very sly You can leave now (go away) To your own world (your own way) I know you don’t want to (but its time) I need to finish (this rhyme) I’ve got work to do And I don’t care for you Your niggling little voice That slowly comes to destroy But I can see through that You’re not good for me You’re ruining my life You’re so very sly Begun to realise who you are Always tantalising me But now you’ve gone too far I have seen you in the light That is where you don’t shine too bright Let you live here for too long Almost had forgot my song Almost thought it was true That the sum of me equalled you But now you’ve gone too far You’ve shown me what you are You can leave now (go away) To your own world (your own way) I know you don’t want to (but its time) I need to finish (this rhyme)
2.
My Own Fake News 03:44
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Sitting down Listening to my own fake news Now I’m just sitting back wondering Why I’ve got the blues Honey look around you You’ve got to choose C’mon get up put on your favourite shoes The clock is ticking over there’s nothing to lose Turn off the commentary let’s move Are you gonna spend another day Pretending that things have never gone your way Feeling sorry yet ashamed of your self Never bothering to dust your life off the shelf Trust me you're not living, You're sitting and wallowing, Thinking about what could have been Rather than doing a spring clean Sitting down Listening to my own fake news Now I’m just sitting back wondering Why I’ve got the blues Honey look around you You’ve got to choose C’mon get up put on your favourite shoes The clock is ticking over there’s nothing to lose Turn off the commentary let’s move Nobody can stop the train Hop on and save yourself from some pain Stop standing on the platform waving goodbye Show yourself how you’re not really that shy Oh man life just happens And you have to just let it happen You don’t get to choose how others act Only how you respond to that Sitting down Listening to my own fake news Now I’m just sitting back wondering Why I’ve got the blues Honey look around you You’ve got to choose C’mon get up put on your favourite shoes The clock is ticking over there’s nothing to lose Turn off the commentary let’s move Some will pretend to have your back And others will pick up their slack No judgement of course to that end Sometimes we all have to pretend But its ok to move on, when something goes wrong Commit to your decision, don’t end up in your own prison Come on and get up You’re going to have to give a fuck You’re going to have to find your groove And let it change your mood
3.
Choose 01:50
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You're going to have to break the habit You’re going to have to work on the sabbath You’re going to have to learn to diffuse You’re going to have to learn that you can choose You’re going to have to feel the weight on your body You’re going to have to feel every part that is worried You’re going to have to choose to commit You’re going to have to stop the tick
4.
I Wave Goodbye To You 02:48
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Be on the lookout Be on the prowl Nostalgia is lurking And it doesn’t fool around It was attention It wants to be heard I know it’s tempting But resist the urge. I wave goodbye to you. And all that I’ve been through I give the bird to all that And begin to relax I put the tv on I play a groovy song I get on with the work I release the hurt Weep for the lost But begin to grow It’s important to be sad And feel the sorrow It might take a while Yeah its true But It’s important to expose your soul to you I wave goodbye to you. And all that I’ve been through I give the bird to all that And begin to relax I put the tv on I play a groovy song I get on with the work I release the hurt It’s important to recognise your feelings So they won’t come back to keep you reeling And reeling and reeling And reeling and reeling, And reeling and reeling Until your feet are on the ceiling I wave goodbye to you. And all that I’ve been through I give the bird to all that And begin to relax I put the tv on I play a groovy song I get on with the work I release the hurt Be on the lookout Be on the prowl Nostalgia is lurking And it doesn’t fool around It was attention It wants to be heard I know it’s tempting But resist the urge
5.
It's OK 04:29
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You are going to die and it’s ok You cannot hope to hide and it’s ok So go on, give this living a try You might just be surprised Coz you are going to die and it’s ok Take a risk Wake up and be free Today is the day I decide to be me Me as in, I will not be afraid To make mistakes as I wade In and through grime and through weeds It was Up to my hips but now it’s at my knees You are going to die and it’s ok You cannot hope to hide and it’s ok So go on, give this living a try You might just be surprised Coz you are going to die and it’s ok Go out and try something new Find something borrowed and something blue Watch all your issues and wave goodbye As they float down the stream of rushing time Go on and let yourself cry The sooner you do the quicker they will dry You are going to die and it’s ok You cannot hope to hide and it’s ok So go on, give this living a try You might just be surprised Coz you are going to die and it’s ok Go and get your pen And write down your plan Every moment is just how it began C’mon ask that’s a start See how the waves begin to depart And for God’s sake Sit up straight You know you can’t afford to ruin those kind of plates You are going to die and it’s ok You cannot hope to hide and it’s ok So go on, give this living a try You might just be surprised Coz you are going to die and it’s ok
6.
Feels Good 02:35
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I love the feel I love the taste I love the journey not the race I love the sun I love the rain I love those moments But not the shame I love the detail The precision The possibilities But not the jail of indecision I love the pure The couture But not weight of the the insecure Look at me now Can’t you see The best part of life Is being free It feels good Good to choose To walk away And simply refuse I love feeling valued But not for a price Sometime the world Feels like it’s not really wise And of course it’s not I just forgot Had my hopes set high Thought that others would try My mistake I work harder To work more And close that door I work on me now As best as I know how I do as I choose And not be anyone’s muse Look at me now Can’t you see The best part of life Is being free It feels good Good to choose To walk away And simply refuse
7.
Not Forever 03:58
lyrics
Just remember When you’re sinking down That this won’t be forever Things will turn around Just hold out hope You’ll wake up the next day And for some reason You’ll feel ok This mood isn’t forever This tension isn’t forever This moment isn’t forever These feelings aren’t forever This mood isn’t forever This tension isn’t forever This moment isn’t forever These feelings aren’t forever You’ll laugh at what you felt You’ll wonder at yourself Marvel at how intense you were About things that don’t now stir Its ok to feel down It’s hard to turn it around Wait it out It isn’t your fault But know your limits and respond This mood isn’t forever This tension isn’t forever This moment isn’t forever These feelings aren’t forever This mood isn’t forever This tension isn’t forever This moment isn’t forever These feelings aren’t forever You are able to be strong You are able to hold on C’mon and dig your heels in Don’t you dare give in You are able to mute that tune And give yourself some room Let your body begin to feel give in and let it heal This mood isn’t forever This tension isn’t forever This moment isn’t forever These feelings aren’t forever
8.
No.1 Fan 03:26
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Nice work Pushing through these fears And guess what You’re still here Keep going I’m your number one fan I’ll believe in you till the very end Nice work Pushing through these years And guess what You’re still here Keep going I’m your number one fan I’ll believe in you till the very end You’re becoming strong Liking who you are Liking having a go Putting on a show I know it’s tempting To think it’s a lie But help yourself And don’t even try Nice work Pushing through these fears And guess what You’re still here Keep going I’m your number one fan I’ll believe in you till the very end Nice work Pushing through these fears And guess what You’re still here Keep going I’m your number one fan I’ll believe in you till the very end You’re becoming strong Liking who you are Liking having a go Putting on a show I know it’s tempting To think it’s a lie But help yourself And don’t even try Nice work Pushing through these fears And guess what You’re still here Keep going I’m your number one fan I’ll believe in you till the very end Nice work Pushing through these fears And guess what You’re still here Keep going I’m your number one fan I’ll believe in you till the very end You’re becoming strong Liking who you are Liking having a go Putting on a show I know it’s tempting To think it’s a lie But help yourself And don’t even try

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released July 29, 2022

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EVAN JELLO Adelaide, Australia

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